• Therapy isn’t about “fixing” yourself or “getting over” trauma. It’s about learning how to heal around your trauma, empower yourself, develop healthy coping skills, discover meaning, and practice acceptance & compassion.

• If you are thinking of moving from monogamy into ethical non-monogamy (ENM) with your partner, you must start with conversations - many, many conversations over time - before going on a first date with someone else, inviting a new partner into bed with you, or being like “We have a really strong relationship/marriage/whatever - we will figure it out as we go along and be fine.” Hey, maybe you will, but while I hate to be a harbinger of negativity, it is far more likely you’ll alter your partnership as you know it, and there is no going back, I promise. Moving back to a space of trust, accountability and respect is a lot harder after you’ve moved the relationship goal posts without intention and respectful negotiation.

• Therapy isn’t necessarily forever, but it is a nice opportunity. I don’t believe clients must stay working with a therapist their whole lives. I also don’t believe that “everyone needs a therapist.” I do, however, believe that everyone should try therapy at some point in their lives - when a different lens, expertise, or specific kind of psychological/emotional work is needed. And it is work: seeking your “self” when you feel lost isn’t for those who would rather not know. It is for the brave, willing, and curious.